It seems like everyone i know is just too into fucking around, getting drunk and getting laid as much as possible. It makes me sad & disgusted and feel like there's no true feelings anymore in this world, no true love, of course i know very little of the world outside of the Rochester area, and maybe it's just the people I am around all the time, i don't know. I just don't know how people survive doing that...
I've had a LOT of time to think about a lot of things the past week, i would say much too much time to think about what is and is not important to me. I've been so caught up in myself that i never realized what i was, who i was, where i was going, and what i was doing. I didn't realize how much i push away those people who actually care; or that person, when they are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I listen to bad advice from the wrong people.
I never made the special people actually feel how special they truly are, I've never reassured them how beautiful and important they are, and I've let them and myself down...
The best feeling that i have had in years did not come from drinking, hooking up, partying, getting something, performing, graduating, buying all my own equipment etc... But the best feeling came from doing something special and meaningful for someone who deserves it. It was truly the biggest rush, and the happiest i had felt in some time. Having someone like that is amazing! Having someone you are willing to go to the end of the earth for to show them how much they mean to you, THAT is what it's all about!
...so i guess; if anyone is actually reading this, and you have someone who is special to you in your life, let them know, show them every day, and in any way how much they mean to you, and never let them forget it.
I just wish i had the last 3 years back, or even just the past month or two...
fuck!
*i didn't want this to be one of these blogs, it's gay, whatever! I'll get around to the picture thing again soon...
.
